My Bank Holiday…
Rich and Hiren came over on Friday. There was a little bit of drinking and we all made some homemade pizzas and watched TV.
On Saturday Hannah and I went out for drinks and a meal in Reading and there was quite a lot of drinking and then Hannah got all soppy and sweet on the way home and we passed out in bed.
On Sunday Dom and Gemma came over and we all had burgers and watched films and made merry and I did an awful lot of drinking, ploughing through a lot of vodka and half a box of wine.
On Monday I spent most of the day holding in vomit and whimpering. Then I bought myself the The Sentry comic to make myself feel better. I think I’m going to give up drinking for a bit, which should be an interesting battle considering that we still have some booze left in the house and I have a horrible lack of self control. All of my friends know this.
On Thursday I’m going on holiday for four days. Shall I not drink there?
Out, Joe
Charlotte and Space Siege…
Two things to warrant this post. Firstly, my good friend Miss Charlotte Otter got a job writing at a press agency today and, knowing how hard it is to get a job working in journalism, I thought that was worthy of a post. Congrats, standard derisive but good natured comment, etc.
Two, I’m tired of looking at a video of someone wanking everytime I visit my own blog and marvel over my own magnanimousness. Mmm, long word with impossible spelling, nice!
Also, here’s a quote from my most recent review of Chris Taylor’s Space Siege on bit-tech. The review isn’t glowing, because to be honest the game is really very, very dull.
“Those of you who do know Chris for his previous work, or with an attention span that lasts more than just a couple of paragraphs, will have noted that this is the second Chris Taylor game to bear the naming format of ‘Something Siege’ and that’s with good reason. Though Space Siege isn’t a true sequel to Dungeon Siege in any way, shape or form, it is kind of a follow-up. A spiritual successor, if you will.
The differences are many though. Dungeon Siege was a colourful medieval romp with a hit and miss approach to gameplay. Space Siege is a generic hallway grindfest with a sci-fi theme plopped on top like a glaze of week-old ketchup – which is to say, no matter how much you like ketchup, you’ll probably find this mostly bland and tiresome.
Still, the ingredient of this particular ketchup are; the Earth has been mostly destroyed by an alien race and you are an engineer on the last ship left, which also happens to get a small infestation of the aliens stowing-away on board. Oh, and tomato puree.”
So, yeah that was three things not two. I could make a Monty Python/Spanish Inquisition joke here, but to be honest I really can’t be arsed. Blame Space Siege for boring the funny out of me.
Out, Joe.
Masturbation Gesture Gone Very Wrong In The Office at Shoutfile.com
This made me laugh, so it should help compensate for the previous two posts which I had to delete today.
Important Update…
I looked it up in the dictionary today. Apparently, Heinz really does mean beans.
Braid and Broken PCs…
I’m not actually very good with technology and over the last year I’ve really found that out. On the one hand working at bit-tech.net is great because I’ve learned so much about how PCs work, what the market is like and so on. I’m much more technically adept than I used to be.
On the other hand, I still can’t build a PC without it break eighteen times and having to ask Richard for his help. Also, I find I keep putting [i] and [h] tags on stuff I write – even the shopping list.
It seems to be the [i]in[/i] thing at the moment for games journalists to talk about Braid and I can kind of see why. The game is awesome in design and appeal, which is why I gave it 10/10 and the following quote.
Braid is excellent. Let’s get that clear from the off – balls out of the bag, so to speak. Braid is phenomenal and you can stab me in the face with a soldering iron if I’m exaggerating about that.
On the other hand though, I don’t feel a need to ram my indie credentials down everyones throat by jumping on the bandwagon and claiming that it’s the best thing since Portal. It is good and I love it, but you don’t need twenty up-themselves games journos belaboring that point when nineteen will do. Once Kotaku gets hold of it then there isn’t much point in carrying on anyway.
Instead, I’ll talk about a shit game. Code of Honor 2: Conspiracy Island, which I am finishing the review of today. The article isn’t done yet, but this final quote should help outline the depths of my loathing.
In a perfect world or a Hollywood movie then Code of Honor 2 would be the leading lady who would be perfectly nice and affable, but she wears glasses and is ignored by the popular clique. Then, after completing her in under five hours and getting our analogies all mixed up, we’d take off her glasses and realise that she’s actually quite pretty in some respects and that we’ve grown enough as mature human beings to look past appearances.
This isn’t a Hollywood movie though. So, what happens is that after spending some time with her/it/the game we find out that actually the reason nobody talks to her is because she makes all her clothes out of dead beetles and can’t stop dribbling all over herself, punctuating every sentence with a passing of gas.
The finished article also contains a thrilling story of how I was sent fleeing from a multiplayer server by a 14 years Swiss boy and a very scary man with an obsession for guns.
Joe, out.
Collecting Stories
This project makes me feel warm, tingly and amazed. I feel bad for not doing something similar, but better for sharing that.
